Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Angel's Garden

Yesterday I had to go to the store for some food items and when I got home my husband came out to help me carry things inside. Just as I turned to open the trunk of the car I saw my old neighbor drive up. I say she is old neighbor because she used to live next door. She lost her home to bankruptcy several years ago and so she and her family had to move. They moved only two streets away. You see they didn't want to move far away because of a special memory tied to the house next door.

It's a very sad memory in ways. My neighbor lived there with her husband, and two daughters. One of the daughters has a young boy, the other daughter has a husband. They all lived in a three bedroom home next door. The daughter and her husband had a baby girl who was born about a year after they moved in next door. This baby girl was very shy and sweet. She would let me hold her for only a minute and then she wanted to go back to her grandmother. I always called the baby, Angel. Her name was Tomasina. Her skin was a beautiful brown color. Her hair black and her eyes were brown. This sweet Angel had a lot of surgeries on her heart. I came to realize that the name Angel was not just a nick name. In my heart I felt that the doctors were doing too much surgery on this tiny baby. Tomasina only lived for 19 months.

The last surgery she had I woke up early in the morning feeling very sad and afraid for Tomasina. I could visualize her father taking her into the hospital and Tomasina laying her head on her father's shoulder. I prayed and prayed and fell back asleep and had a dream about Tomasina. I dreamed that I finally got to babysit this sweet Angel. I laid my head down on her crib to encourage her to go to sleep. I went to sleep instead. In the dream I woke up and Tomasina was down on the floor playing with two other babies. They were having a lot of fun. Then I woke up for real.

I dressed and ate and then I heard a knock on the door. It was Tomasina's grandmother coming to tell me that Tomasina had just died. I had felt that this would be her last surgery but never told her family. I couldn't. Tomasina's mother had lost two other children in pregnancy. I now realize that the other children playing with Tomasina in my dream were her two siblings.

Her grandmother showed me a picture of Tomasina yesterday while I was starting to unload my groceries. I controlled myself and only a tear fell and a little mascara. Her grandmother gave me the picture of Tomasina. When she left I walked to the house and I started to weep.

I have a small garden just for Tomasina with a small Angel in the middle. Last year I bought Tomasina a tiny bench for her garden just in case she decides she wants to sit for a while and watch the butterflies. I also bought some little funny garden critters. They are whimsical little things. One year I bought a big potted plant to hang from the beautiful pink Crape Myrtle tree that is right there beside her little garden. The plant was so soft it reminded me of Tomasina's soft skin.

My husband told me not to do anymore to this tribute for the little Angel that visited us for 19 months here on earth. I can't help it. It breaks my heart to know she suffered so much as a tiny little baby girl. She now has a baby brother who is healthy. I thank God for this wonderful favor of health for this little boy. He crinkles his little nose just like his sister did. He is told all the time about his little sister who now has her own set of angel wings. Their grandmother told me that she has a t-shirt with this same picture of Tomasina on it and her little brother kisses this t-shirt all the time. He loves his little sister. And that's just as it should be.

By the way, my husband bought a small concrete angel too. He painted it and guess where it is? Yep, it now sits in Tomasian's little garden. And that's just as it should be.

1 comment:

  1. Searcher...... I learn more about your heart every day.