$1,100,000.00 PRIZE WINNINGS !!!!!!!

A week ago I received a letter saying I'd won $1,100,000.00. Today is the deadline to call about the prize. I called last night and spoke to a REAL NICE lady. She said that I had won two diamond watches, and a subscription to four magazines for only $1.6_ a month. She wanted to know how I wanted to be paid if I won the $1,100,000.00. I said in a lump sum. I asked her how much the taxes would be, but she didn't know. I asked her if they would pay me with a check or a bank transfer, but she didn't know. She asked me how I would spend the money. I told her I needed tennis shoes and a hair cut. ( She was just trying to get me to think of something besides reality.) She told me I'd won two diamond watches for free and four magazines for $1.67 a month. She asked if I had a credit card. She said she only needed to know the date it expired. I told her and then I was ALLOWED to speak to her supervisor.

What a SWEET fellow. He explained the same thing the first lady explained. I had won two diamond watches, and four magazines for $1.67 a month. Then he explained to me their payment plans. The first one was a payment plan of four payments of $67.00. That would pay me up for 48 months. He kept getting lower and lower on the payments. I kept telling him I needed tennis shoes first. I told him how the bottom of my tennis shoes leans. That causes my feet to lean. That hurst my back. I need tennis shoes more than magazines. He lowered the price again and I told him we don't have cable television or satellite. We've had to cut back. He cut the price again but I said that we can't buy meat to eat so we need meat before we need a magazine. He lowered the payment again and I told him I need a haircut. I have had to start cutting my own hair. I need a hair cut more than a magazine. Finally he said I could make the first payment of $1.95 and then make three payments of $22.34. I told him I didn't know if I could come up with the $22.34 within 30 days. He kept on and on and I did what any Red Blooded American would do, I gave him the dial tone.

Then I entered his million dollar phone number in my "Reject List" of phone numbers. BLESS THEIR COTTON PICKEN, PEA PICKEN, POCKET PICKEN million dollar prize. So,if you win the million dollars let me know. I'll congratulate you on your magazines, diamond watches, and your magnetic bracelet and your four payments of $67.00. Oh, did I mention the diamond watches are free and so is the magnetic bracelet.