Finally Somethings Clean

Finally something in this house is clean. The bathroom is clean, mom's bathroom is cleaner, the kitchen floor got mopped, and things were taken off the dinning room table. I didn't know that toilet bowl cleaner would clean the tub better than anything else. I just hope it doesn't cause cancer or something else. It only took me four months to finally get my dresser dusted. Now my office looks like a hurricane hit it and it's tax time.

Four months of feeling terrible about my mother's death and having to do all the legal work has taken a toll. It's hard to close out someone's life. When its someone you've known all your life its especially hard. Stopping all the utility bills, going through the mail daily, sorting through her belongings, plus a couple of dozen other things, it gets to you.

Some days I would cry a lot. Some days I would only cry when I went into her room. Some days I would only cry when I made dinner and remembered how many meals I'd made for her that she wouldn't eat. I keep telling her I'm sorry for not being able to stop her from dying, for not knowing when that would be and being there with her, for not being able to make her happy, for not knowing how bad the hospital would screw up and give her a medication that would stop her breathing.

I could finally go into her bathroom and clean out the medicine cabinet and a small tan colored plastic shelf on wheels where we kept things she needed daily. I put all the things I'd never use in a paper sack and gave them to someone else. There were all of her manicure items, Paul Mitchel hair products, Avon skin care things, cleansers that she would never use. The half used things went in the trash. I made it through without crying. Well, not too much.

What do I do with her doll she had from childhood? The books she like to read, her radio, the art work, her mother's old trunk? The flag that was over my dad's casket, her greeting cards, her dominoes, her soft blankets? So many decisions. Sad ones too. The sewing machine she used to sew me clothes, the child's desk, the Raggedy Andy and Raggedy Ann Dolls, the afghans she spent months crocheting? What do I do with it all? It feels overwhelming sometimes.

Mom's sewing machine:

Child's school desk:

Mom's childhood doll:

Mom's 95 year old books:

Someone gave her this purse when she went on a mission trip to Mexico. She couldn't figure out how she got across the border with it.

Her Pillsbury Dough Boy:

The wood rocker for dolls:

Her house was so cute and now it belongs to someone else.

It's just part of the mourning process to wonder how a life can be so full one minute and then...

Just Another Day In Paradise

I stayed up too late again last night. This time I swept and moped my dining room and kitchen floor. I must have had a burst of energy or insanity because I went on to clean the front of my kitchen cabinet doors. I just happen to notice that the cabinet door pulls were Very dirty and went on to clean those. After using a nail brush to clean the door pulls I happen to notice my kitchen stove was looking shabby. The oven has a glass door and it was streaked with who knows what. I got out the ammonia and cleaned that. I tried to clean the back splash of the stove. The part where the florescent light, the clock, the oven settings are located. I say I tried because the stove is stainless steel and doesn't lend itself to much cleaning with steal wool or the like. I settled for a good try and left it at that. Then I noticed the rugs needed washing so I put those on along with my house shoes. PeeUU. I finally got to bed about 2:30 am. I am usually sitting right here at the computer doing research or looking at other peoples blogs at that time of night. This has got to stop.

My mother had her new windows put in her house today. She called me at 8:00 am to let me know that the installers were there. I tried to get up but wanted to sleep a little more. I did cover back up and tried to sleep. That didn't happen because my mind had already started to work. I got dressed and made oatmeal with apple and blueberries. I feed the two parrots and they had their screaming time. Parrots usually have two times of day they scream or get loud. When they first wake up and just before they go to sleep or in the evening. I finally made it to my moms house by 10:30 or so. I walked because I need the exercise. The installers at her house were the same men who installed at my house. Great pair of guys. I opened and closed all mom's windows and noted two small problems. One window only had a half screen. It needs a full screen because all of the windows are double hung. That means they open from the top and the bottom. The order form on her windows said that she ordered full screens. The other problem was one of the small tabs that you pull in to allow the window to lean in and clean it, it didn't spring back and the window didn't close properly. I told the installers and they said there was no problem.

I made my mom a salad for lunch and we ate. Then I walked home to make some banana pudding for my grandsons who were coming over. In fact when I got here they were waiting in the driveway. They had only been here for three minutes. What timing.

The window installers came to my house and checked out the problems I have with their install. Between them and my son I see now that my fears of more growing mold are out of proportion to what they need to be. My son told me that the new windows won't have the same condensation and water won't form on them so there probably won't be any more mold. He said I did need to replace my window sills because the paint is peeling off and there seems to have been mold growing in there. He also said that the wall paper that was on the facing around the window is where mold would have come from because mold eats paper. He said it needs fuel to live and grow and that paper was it's source. The installers told me virtually the same thing. If there isn't a lot of moisture in the air in my house then the windows won't sweat and so no mold would grow on them. So now I have to start thinking of how to replace the window sills.

At the Home and Garden Show I saw a local paint company that has a paint they developed themselves called 'ePaint'. Below is a quote from their Website. I got a coupon for one free gallon of this ePaint. When I get to the point of redoing the walls and area around the windows I'll pick up a gallon of this paint. I have until 6/1/09 to get it.
"Antimicrobial, Low VOC (volatile organic compounds), Low Odor and features a Limited Lifetime Warranty. This product contains Bio-Pruf™ antimicrobial agents which provide long-lasting inhibition of the growth of stain and odor causing bacteria, mold, and mildew on the paint film. "

I have bought paint from this company before. What I like is they make the paint right there. It's a small local company as far as I know. They have a nice Website. www.hispaint.com. I went two summers ago to buy some paint and first went to another company here in town and I about died of heat stroke in the building. I had to wait for them to match the color and I was using a wet cloth to try to stay cool. Later I went to get more paint but I went to HIS Paint instead. What a difference. They had air conditioning and they store was clean. I didn't have to wait as long for the paint to be matched. I'm looking forward to trying some of this ePaint. I am hoping it will help keep down any mold around my windows.

Today when I was telling the young man who installed my windows that they had left the metal frame from my old windows, I started crying. I have been fighting this battle with mold for about ten years. We didn't have the money for new windows before. Now that we have some money to have several windows put in, the thought of having mold on them or around them just is more than I can handle. I thought my mold worries were gone. I couldn't stop crying after I talked to the installer. I didn't realize it had been such a big deal until today and I started crying.

My son and his sons, who are young boys, helped me put my mother's furniture back in place. That was really nice. My son is a Chemist and is really busy with his job and building a new home. He is learning and teaching American Bushido-Kai Karate. My youngest grandson is leaning karate also. I have a wonderful son and he is a great dad.

I have another son who is really super too. More about him later because kitchen duty is calling.