Saturday, February 7, 2009

What Would You Do?

June 25, 2008

I was sent the above link by a friend of mine and I couldn't resist leaving a comment for this poor lady. Read her problem and my advise. What would you do if it were you?

Is My Hubby Just Selfish Or What?

Man oh man, I am so pissed right now. Let me explain. I always make enough food at dinner for my hubby to take leftovers in his lunch AND so that I can too if I want. Okay, so what is the problem then right. Well........ my husband and a friend at work swap out their leftovers sometimes. That is no problem except now my husband takes a boatload of extra food to work EVERY day just to swap and leaves me nothing. I mean is that just thoughtless and selfish or what?

We have literally argued over this and it is very frustrating. He accuses me of "not wanting HIM to have any lunch." However, I see it as I do not care what he takes for lunch for HIMSELF but when he takes MY lunch to work and gives it away it really pisses me off. This means at MY lunch I have to make a whole new meal. I have told him that sharing at work is great but NOT when he is taking food away that I would definitely eat and he just gives it away. My God, if he insists on eating what his co-worker brings in then maybe he could go to THEIR house and eat dinner.

Here is an example or two that just happened. Last night I was making salad to go with our meal. Hubby and I both adore green olives on top of our salads. I had just bought a HUGE jar not more than a week ago. They were a bit tart and I said that to my husband. So..........last night I am in the fridge searching all over for the olives and he says, "we must be out". I tell him we cannot be because I just bought some. He said, "Oh those olives. Well you mentioned they were a bit tart so I took them to work." I almost blew up. This happens over and over and I never know what we have or do not when I shop for groceries.

Then, this morning I had 3 pieces of corn on the cob laid out to prepare tonight with a meatloaf I plan to make. There were also two LARGE containers of leftover mexican casserole I had made last night. Honestly each container had way more than enough to feed two men. But, right after hubby leaves for work I notice that the corn and BOTH dishes of casserole are GONE! So I call his cell and sure enough he has done it again. He had it all with him on his way to work. I am FURIOUS. This has been an ongoing situation for about 3 years and I am fed up!

Why doesn't he get it? Does he not realize or care that I would like to eat too?

Advice from anyone would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!

My Advise:

I've had problems with my husband in the past and when I treat him the way he treats me things start to change.

He used to come home late for dinner. He would show up with a bunch of his buddies and I'd have been keeping dinner warm for him. It didn't seem to bother him that I was waiting. So I decided to go ahead and eat and put everything in the refrigerator and then leave. I would go somewhere and enjoy myself. Then by the time I came home he was forced to find the food in the refrigerator and heat it up himself. The first time he said anything to me about it I just said that I had eaten and didn't know when he would come home so I put things away. He never said another word about it. He still comes in late but I don't wait for him. If I'm hungry I eat.

In your case I would be ready to just stop off and buy myself some dinner someplace and enjoy a nice hot meal. Then I'd go home and let him cook what ever he wants. If he still wants to cook enough food for all his buddies I'd let my husband buy the food from his check and cook it himself. That should put a stop to this. If he has to do all the work of cooking it and paying for it he might think twice. The main thing for you to do is act like your too busy and don't yell or fight. Go someplace else and let him worry about it. Things will change if you change what you've always done. If you continue to do what you've done in the past things will stay the same. Just remember to not get mad or fight with him.

Invent something to do outside the house. Visit a very sick friend, join a club, or something. Take a class, learn to paint, or take up an exercise class. Do something besides cooking the meal every night. Change is hard but it will work. CHANGE. You change, not him. You can't force him to change. I guarantee he will get hungry enough and he will see how much money he is spending when he has to do it all.

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